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Before You Take Viagra, Read This Shocker!
By Patrick Kill Posted in Articles on August 28, 2020
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Originally posted on April 27, 2020 @ 12:10 am

In a recent study, researchers have discovered that not only does Viagra help erectile dysfunction, it also leads to the shrinkage of the heart.

Now, you’re probably trying to guess where I’m going with this…that I’ll be making some crack about all the blood going to the penis, therefore deflating the heart muscle.

But, you’re wrong.

Actually, I’m going to use a brief character observation below that involves my uncle and his ordeal with the popular drug. To protect his identity, I will refer to him as “Uncle Woody,” for obvious reasons.

Uncle Woody (Before Viagra)

Woody was once a pretty laid back guy.

Worked in a homeless shelter. No wife or girlfriend. Gave to the United Way. When he dated, he would take women for long, romantic walks on the beach. Bought them flowers. With his family, he spent lots of time with his nieces and nephews. At Christmas he dressed up like Santa for all the kids.

Uncle Woody (After Viagra)

This is Woody after the 5th dose of Viagra.

He quit the homeless shelter after saying that there were no more “lookers” there. He now has multiple girlfriends he refers to as “fuck buddies.” No longer gives to the United Way; instead he spends the money on downloadable porn. Now his dates consist of romantic drives to the local Dollar Inn and engaging in all night orgies. He no longer buys women flowers; instead, he buys them birth control, anal sutures and jars of Vaseline. With his family, he only spends time with his nieces…at the Dollar Inn. At Christmas time, he lost the Santa suit for a pair of tight red sweat pants, no underwear, and everyone fears they will be the one standing directly in front of him when the line to the food table suddenly stops.


So what have we learned from this? The studies are true. Viagra does shrink the heart. Uncle Woody’s (much like the Grinch’s) heart is now the size of a chicken nugget. All his past sharing and good-natured ways have been replaced by his ability and drive to once again fornicate.

Unlike woman, males engaged in sexual activity are less likely to feel or express love. To the male species, it’s all about the lustful act of intercourse.

Males who can’t have sex, become more woman-like. They care more and feel strong emotional longing, and are able to express love more.

Before Viagra—Less sex=bigger heart.

After Viagra—More sex=smaller heart.

It doesn’t take a scientist and an expensive study to figure that out.


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