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By Patrick Kill Posted in on November 27, 2020
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Everyone’s Out To Get You, Mother Rucker!

Meet Mary Rucker, a nun whose life changes forever when she becomes the sexual attraction of almost everyone around her. Is it God’s test, the Devil’s curse, or is there something even more sinister at play?

Patrick Kill made his career off writing some of the most hilariously dark pokes and prods at organized religions. His iconoclastic approach to his fiction breaks boundaries and skewers beliefs.

Death To Humans Publishing felt this was the perfect story to set the bar for future publications. Something daring, original and definitely not afraid of embracing our mantra of ‘Fu*k the Mainstream!’


Mind’s Filthy Lesson

Meet James…At twelve years of age, he raped and killed his imaginary friend. This is the aftermath of what happened next…

Patrick Kill isn’t afraid of getting down and dirty. His stories involving sex include just as much penetration to the mind and psyche.

Death To Humans release of the second book in the short story series. Something daring, original and definitely not afraid of embracing our mantra of ‘Fu*k the Mainstream!’


The Day Mr. Langford Cracked

Meet Mr. Langford…a man on a one-way path to utter destruction of mind, body and soul.

Patrick Kill takes madness to another extreme as this story shows off his classic irreverence and nihilistic themes common in his early works.

This is third story in the Death To Humans series.


The Boy With the Razor-Sharp Teeth

Meet the new boy in class…his every smile seems dangerous with his pointed teeth and bleeding gums. And with dark beady eyes and breath that could choke a mule, no one ever talks to the boy with the razor-sharp teeth.

Patrick Kill’s viewpoint as an author is always from the outsider, disconnected from humanity. “The Boy With the Razor-Sharp Teeth” is the ultimate story of alienation. It’s sad, violent and truly original, particularly the ending with its sing-song rhyming prose leading up to the big reveal.

This is story #4 in the Death To Humans series.


Chocolate Jesus

Meet Alex…a kid who hates church almost as much as his new stepdad. But when he decides to embezzle some collection plate money for a chunk of chocolate, all hell breaks loose. Literally.

Probably the most popular and recognized stories penned by Patrick Kill. Although it is laced with the author’s candid and trademark stabs at organized religion, this story was actually adapted by a religious group of street performers in New York’s Times Square who focused on portraying the deeper messages within this story, about greed, sin and retribution.

This is story #5 in the Death To Humans series.


Clitorissa + the Incredible Edible Leg

Meet Clitorissa…an entire freak show within one person. She’s the main attraction at the strange carnival that appeared overnight.

The barker claimed the gateway to hell exists between her legs. And that one of her legs was actually edible.

Joey has just paid a week’s allowance so he and his friends can find out the truth.

This is story #6 in the Death To Human Series.


The Hunter King

Meet The Hunter King…newly crowned as the top deer poacher to ever walk the earth. Discover how this once PETA-loving pacifist who didn’t dare harm a single living thing turned out to be one of the most murderous hunters in the world. Ted Nugent-approved.

Patrick Kill’s tongue-in-cheek wit and sarcastic humor is in overdrive in this over-the-top portrayal of the great Midwestern redneck male.

This is story #7 in the Death To Human series.


Screaming Greens

Welcome to the deadliest golf course on earth! A horrible death awaits most golfers who tee off on this extreme course. But they deserve to die anyway just for taking part in what is inarguably mankind’s most pathetic sport.

Patrick Kill has set foot on a golf course only once. The same day the grounds crew was forced to put out a small brush fire in the rough on Hole 14. Broken golf clubs, resembling lawn darts, had to be extracted from every single green. His cart was found in flames, crashed into an 18th-hole sand trap. His caddy’s corpse was discovered weeks later in one of the water hazards. There were tees lodged in his caddy’s eyes and a putter shoved up his rectum.

Screaming Greens is Patrick Kill’s literary salute to the world’s stupidest sport.

This is also story #8 in the Death To Humans series.


Psychotica

Meet Kalep…he is God’s personal whipping boy. He has been cast into a world of one so that the Almighty can sadistically abuse him at will. But now psychological torment joins his days of bodily harm and physical abuse. Cast away in a prison world as a slave to God’s sadistic pleasures, Kalep seeks to escape into the shadows of the other, human world.

This is story 9 in the Death To Humans series.


Demonica & the Dream House

Meet the Kinsels…newlyweds who found their dream house. Perfect location, size and price. There is only one small drawback…a 3-foot hairless horned demon that lives in an upstairs closet, feeds off sex and refuses to leave. Find out whose dream house it really becomes in Patrick Kill’s classic story!

This is story #10 in the Death To Humans series.


Dead Santa & Other Heartwarming Christmas Tales

For those who have been NAUGHTY this year…

Sick of getting a lump of coal in your stocking every year? Well, this is your year! Tell Santa (or your husband, wife, mistress, etc.) to surprise you with Patrick Kill’s latest book, Dead Santa & Other Heartwarming Christmas Tales, collecting 6 very twisted Christmas stories.

Stories included in this collection: “Christmas: A Brief History” | “The Little Hummer Boy” | “Toys For Tits” | Eggnog & Exlax | “This Wonderful Life” | “Dead Santa”.


3 Tall Tales

The first in the series of digital collections featuring 3 classic Patrick Kill short stories. Only available digitally in the 3 Tales Trilogy.

Stories in this collection include:
“The Magic Cupboard”
“Tall Tail”
“The Giant Man”


3 Sick Tales

The second in the series of digital collections featuring 3 classic Patrick Kill short stories. Only available digitally in the 3 Tales Series.

Stories in this collection include:
“Sick Day”
“Twins”
“Infidelity”


3 Hard Tales

The third and final in the series of digital collections featuring 3 classic Patrick Kill short stories. Only available digitally in the 3 Tales Series.

Stories in this collection include:
“Tequila Son”
“Bitchslapped”
“Luster”


A Very COVID Christmas

Patrick Kill returns from a decades-long hiatus to ruin Christmas once again. Six original stories are included in this collection, a follow-up to Dead Santa & Other Heartwarming Tales (originally published in 2005). So settle in during your quarantined holiday exile and have yourself a black Christmas with volume 2 in the Cult of Christmas series.

Stories include: “Secretion Santa” | “The Ventilator” | “Black Elves Matter” | “Reign Venison” | “Kamikaze Santa” | “Grandma Got Hungover On A Brain Gear”


Pure Sacrilege

The 6 stories collected in this book represent Patrick Kill’s signature irreverence in his shorter works. These dark and humorous fictional stabs at organized religion, particularly Christianity, are one of the reasons he remains a major force as an underground writer. His bold and blunt views permeate through the stories collected here.

Stories in this collection include: “Bethlehem: 9 Months B.C.” | “Fallen” | “Raise the Lord” | “Potty Mouth” | “Shady Acres Church of God” | “Blessed Is He Who Trusts in the Lard”.



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