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Patrick Kill
Patrick Kill

Patrick Kill is a happy nihilist who specializes in writing the most absurd, iconoclastic humorous dark fiction around. At 6’1’’, he is the tallest midget on earth. He is a competitive eater…of children. He prefers footie pajamas with someone else’s feet in them. He fishes for dead bodies in drainage ditches during the day and traps for yeti at night. He is the most ridiculous man in the world. His favorite saying is: “I don’t always eat humans, but when I do, it’s dos Mexicanos. Stay evil, my friends.”

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Swan Lake Cover Reveal

Coming from Death To Humans in March 2021… Patrick KillPatrick Kill is a happy nihilist who specializes in writing the most absurd, iconoclastic humorous dark fiction around. At 6’1’’, he is the tallest midget on earth. He is a competitive eater…of children. He prefers footie pajamas with someone else’s feet in them. He fishes for […]

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The Hiatus Has Ended!

Time To Piss Off A New Generation…

So if your 2020 hasn’t been fucked up enough, my entire backlist has been sold and is now going back into print. In fact, a good chunk of stories have already been made available, but no official announcements have been made…until now. So it’s been around 15 years since I had written my last story. […]

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How the Pandemic Has Changed the Headlines

Within a matter of just days, the media has shifted its attention to the Covid-19 threat in the United States. Headlines once focused on Trump, now everything seems to be linked to the Coronavirus. Here are 12 headlines from the past few days…

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B. L. O. G. (Blissful Literature of God #2)

Entry 2: Kobe!

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series B. L. O. G. Series

Originally posted on May 25, 2020 @ 12:20 amHello my Kobe-adoring children. God here. I know everyone is feeling glum now due to Kobe Bryant’s untimely passing and want answers. But before I provide the answer to why this tragedy occurred, I wanted to tell you a little story. I was first introduced to the […]

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On This Day in History…

January 1-31

This entry is part 1 of 1 in the series This Day In History

Some of the entries are actually worth a good laugh, some may come across as head-scratchers and others just flat-out trunk-story bombs. I’ve just completed an entry for each day in January, so see what you think…

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An Open Letter To Al Gore

So in lieu of allowing you to spread misinformation uncontested, I have decided to form the UGWA (United Global Warmer’s Alliance). We will become a million strong before year’s end and consist of mostly people in states where the winters are hellishly cold.

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Serial Killers You’ve Never Heard Of Who Quit After The Media Gave Them Dumb Nicknames

All of these serial killers still remain at large, obviously too embarrassed to ever kill again for fear of getting caught and linked to the nicknames.

The following did NOT make my list: The Walmart Walloper, Fort Worth Farter, Phantom of the Oprah, The Piggly Wiggly Executioner, The Spokane Spooner, Tallahassee Testicle Tickler, Montreal Midget Mangler, and The Quebec Queefer.

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B. L. O. G. (Blissful Literature of God #1)

Entry 1: An Introduction

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series B. L. O. G. Series

Hello my children. God here.

For centuries people have been complaining that I never talk to them or give them signs of my existence. I hear countless prayers each day regarding this subject, so I thought I’d open up my own blog and talk to everyone at once. I’ll answer some prayers and just post My Eternal Wisdom. It’s about time I caught up with you human’s technological revolution, so I plan on popping down to earth from time to time in human form, visiting a Starbux and a library and posting on this blog.

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Top-10 Most Anticipated Porn Spoofs of 2020

Now that 2020 in almost here, we can now focus on the most anticipated full-length feature porno-films now in (re)production. The Woodies, the porn industry’s answer to the Oscars, will surely see several of these films nominated for best picture.

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A Case For Cannibalism

When Meat Is Actually Murder

This past weekend I woke up especially early, craving meat. Not beef, chicken, fish or pork, but that of the human variety. Never has this happened before. Usually I get cravings, especially for Mexican, like a nice burrito or chimichanga, but never for some guy named Jose.

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